Unexpected
by Blood Red Rose
Summary: Batman is on hiatus and Joker is angry and wants to know why. Slash! Rating is T right now but will change later on!
1. Chapter 1

Unexpected

by Blood Red Rose

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me (don't I wish)!

A/N: So far this story is rated T or so, but later on it'll go up to M for slashy goodness! Remember, reviews are amazing!

Joker stared at his reflection in the mirror, touching up his makeup. His hands were shaking so badly, like a junkie needing a fix, that he missed most of his scars and looked more unkempt than usual.

"Fuck!" He swore, throwing the lipstick in the sink and punching the mirror. It spiderwebbed and he relished the feeling of the glass in his knuckles, so he punched it again and again. He braced his hands on the edges of the sink and hung his head. His lips were moving, but no sounds coming out. Joker looked back into the mirror, distorted reflection staring back at him, eyes unfocused.

"A year." He muttered, "He's been gone a year. _HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME_?!" He bellowed.

Joker's sensitive ears caught a bunch of scuffling down in the warehouse. His Hench-clowns must have heard him yell and they had decided that it was better for them to be scarce. Joker took a breath and went to the bathroom door. He flung it open and stepped out into the upper office.

The office was a mess, tipped over furniture, papers strewn everywhere. It looked like a tornado had blown through. Joker let out a humorless chuckle, going over to the desk and looking through some of the newer papers. He picked up a stack and started reading. He grunted and threw the paper behind him. Sooner than he would have liked, his hands were empty. He growled into the empty room. Joker could hear footsteps starting up the stairs towards him. Joker stared at the door, waiting. A timid knock followed by one of his goons sticking his head in.

"H-hey, Boss. I know you said not to disturb you, but t-there's something on the TV y-you should-" His words cut off as a knife was thrown into his skull. The body dropped with a thump.

"I said not to disturb me!" He growled at the dead goon. Joker walked over to the door and threw it open so hard plaster rained down on him. As he went through the door, after kicking the body for good measure, he grabbed his good knife out of the goon's forehead. Joker stomped down the stairs and threw open the door to the appointed TV room. Seven guys sat around watching the TV. All seven heads swiveled towards the door. A couple faces drained of color at the livid look on Joker's face.

"What did I, ah, say about disturbing me?!" He asked the men.

"N-not to disturb you, Boss." One of the braver-or stupider-men replied.

"Exactly!" Joker said, taking out his knife and scraping under his nails with it, "So why was I disturbed?" He growled.

Not one of the men was stupid enough to answer, one just pointed at the TV. It was paused on a news station. A different guy picked up the remote-Mickey, the Joker thought-and pressed play. The blonde reporter started talking.

"And now, in other news. An apparent sighting of the Batman." She paused, looking dramatically at the camera, "Two lesser known criminals were seen at an attempted breaking and entering. A few minutes later, a surveillance camera caught them fleeing away from the docks, chased by the Batman." She paused again, and Joker nearly threw his knife through the TV, "If anyone has any information about either Batman or the two criminals, please call the GCPD right away. Steve?" She turned to the man next to her.

"Well, Brenda, that's quite the-" He was cut off as Mickey paused the TV again.

"Well, well, well." The Joker tapped his lip with the tip of his knife, "This certainly needs some investigating."

The Hench-clowns were silent as the Joker contemplated what to do. A couple shifted nervously, as Joker's tapping started again. None of them dared to ask if the Joker needed help.

"Aha!" He started laughing manically, "You boys, grab a few others. Take down a bank on the opposite side of town. Take as long as you can. If the police are out there, I want them distracted."

"I-is that it, Boss?" Another guy, Ernie, asked, "You don't want us to try and lure the Bat and see if he's out there?"

"No!" Joker growled, "Leave the Bat to me!" He looked over the Hench-clowns, "Why are you still here?!" The Joker grinned as the men scrambled up and out of the room before he killed one of them. The Joker's laugh followed them out of the warehouse.

* * *

The Joker ended up in the Narrows, down at the docks, looking for some clues. He frowned in thought. Was this sighting of the Bat real or just another imposter? He shook his head, thinking of all the other imposters he had killed over the last year. He grinned maliciously, served them right for getting his hopes up.

Joker looked down at the wet ground searching for something, anything. There! A glint of metal caught his eye about 100 feet away. He sprinted over to it and bent down to look closer. Joker smiled-a real smile- and picked up the object reverently. He ran his gloved fingers over the sharp edges and when the sensation wasn't enough, Joker pulled his glove off. He ran the object over his palm and sighed when the sharp edge tore open his skin. He watched as the blood welled up and a drop ran down his wrist. Joker put the batarang in the pocket of his trademark purple coat and pulled his glove back on.

Joker grinned manically and laughed. Batsy had left him a clue!


	2. Chapter 2

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Joker's hench-clowns were busy distracting GCPD at the Gotham City Bank. They went in with no plan except to take as long as possible.

Mickey looked at his watch, "Leo, we're on twenty minutes." He hissed to another guy in a crying clown mask.

"How much longer you think?" Leo hissed back. He sounded nervous.

"Dunno. Boss just said to make it last. Wait until the cops get pissed and try to storm in?" Mickey replied.

"Want me to ask the other guys?"

After quick nod of Mickey's head, Leo picked up his walkie and started talking quietly into it. A minute later, Leo put the walkie back into his pocket.

"Boys are getting nervous. The cops are trying to push us through. They think we should go now."

Mickey nodded again, "Alright, let's blow the street." He pulled out a detonator that the Joker had made and pushed the button. He could hear the explosions as the cars lining the main street blew up. Leo's walkie began to chatter and he pulled it out to listen.

"They said the cops are retreating. Let's go!"

Mickey and Leo turned to the back exit of the bank and ran towards it. Mickey had just grasped the knob when he heard Leo's strangled yelp behind him. He turned and Leo was lying on the floor, unconscious or dead, he didn't know. He took a step towards Leo and everything went black.

* * *

The Joker stood on a rooftop across the street from the bank. He was cackling maniacally at the chaos his boys had caused. His eye caught two cops hanging two stragglers. The cops pulled the masks off the men and the Joker saw one was Mickey.

"In-teresting…" Joker muttered to himself. Mickey was one of the more reliable ones. As he stared, Mickey looked up, as if he was searching the rooftops. Joker added a point to his intelligence, if he was looking for the Boss. Mickey finally caught Joker's eye and mouthed one word with a glance back at the door of the bank.

He had mouthed "Batman."

Mickey looked back to the Joker to find he was gone. He searched the rooftops again and found Joker running-no, sprinting-across rooftops, jumping gaps with no fear. Mickey looked on with wide eyes. Joker looked possessed. He looked like he could fly. He was a blur of green with his people coat flying out behind him like a cape.

Mickey was jostled around and the cop threw him in the back of the car. He lost sight of the Joker.


	3. Chapter 3

Joker reached the bank in record time. He ran down the fire exit, stopping at the second floor and leaping off. He got up from his crouch, knees creaking audibly. He dusted off his jacket and stepped up to the back door. He inched it open, peeking in to see if there were cops. When he figured the coast was clear, he snuck in. He noticed, absentmindedly that there was a discarded clown mask on the floor, maybe Lars-no, Lenny, no, that wasn't right either-, the Joker thought and shrugged. Joker could hear the echoing of someone in the vault, so that's where he headed. He poked his head slightly around the big metal door and saw it was Commissioner Gordon, talking on his cell phone.

"I know you're done, Batman, but please. Think about coming back out. I can't finish this myself. There's still too many criminals and mobsters…" he paused, voice lowering slightly, "And GCPD is still too corrupt, especially with the mess about Harvey Dent." Gordon paused to take a breath, listening to the reply.

Even from several feet away, Joker could hear his voice. It made his blood run hot. Then he caught the one sentence that froze him, like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head.

"Gordon, I can't. I'm done. The city will stop at nothing to catch me, your people included."

"No, Batman. My people know the truth. You have nothing to fear from me or mine… please. I need your help, even for a little longer. Please."

"Gordon…"

Joker grinned and crept forward while Jim's back was turned. He caught Gordon with an arm around his neck and a knife pressed to his throat. Gordon stifled a yell, knowing who had him by the purple gloves. He knew that Joker had no stipulations about killing him. Gordon didn't resist as the Joker pried the phone out of his hand.

"Can't you see when a man is desperate, Bats?" Joker said into the phone, giggling.

"Joker! What have you done with Gordon?!" He growled.

"He's here, with me. Now-"

Batman cut him off, "Alive?"

"You wound me, cupcake! Of course he's alive… for now."

"Let him go." Batman demanded.

"Mayyyybe I will, maybe I won't. Depends if you'll play a game with me, Batsy dar-ling." Joker grinned as the breathing on the phone hitched, "or are you re-tired like the Commissioner said?"

"I-" The voice started but the Joker cut him off.

"Let's get serious, Batsy baby. I miss our games. This last year has been SO boring! I left you all sorts of prizes and you. Never. Showed. Do you KNOW what that does to a man's ego?" Joker pouted.

"I was sick of playing your games." Batman growled, "Let the Commissioner go. I'm done playing your games, Joker."

"Hmm, tempting, Bats. But, no. Either you show or the Commissioner dies while I'm on the phone with you right now." Joker's face started changing, growing more feral, "Make your choice, Batman. Tick-tock."

There was a sound that make the Joker's spine stiffen with disbelief. He held the phone out from his ear to Jim, "He HUNG up on ME?! Well, Commissioner, I guess this is just not your lucky night!" He spun the the terrified man around so they were facing each other.

Jim Gordon lost what little breath he had left. The Joker looked livid. His green eyes were wild, his normally manically grinning mouth was in a tight line, saliva foaming. Gordon thought he looked like a rabid dog.

"Let him go, Joker." A voice growled behind the men.

Gordon looked over the Joker's shoulder and his eyes widened comically behind his glasses. The Joker's fingers turned to ice in Gordon's jacket lapels. They slipped from his jacket and the Joker turned slowly. His face showed his confusion as he saw one of his own lackeys standing at the vault entrance.

But, wait . . . something about this goon was different, Joker thought as he looked him over. Angry clown mask, black sweater, black pants and shoes . . . His eyes widened as he figured it out.

"Bats?" He whispered.

"Let Gordon go, now." He spit out angrily.

The Joker's eyes roved the unsuited body of the Bat. He was lean and muscled and . . . perfect, Joker thought as a sliver of pleasure slid down his spine.

"Well, well, well." He drawled, trying to save face, "Look what we have here. Gotta admit, darling, I feel a little overdressed." He grinned, "But really, where have you been?"

"Joker, I'm not playing! Let him go!" Batman was losing his temper, Joker could tell and he relished in it.

"Well, Bats. How about a game?" He paused, rolling the idea around in his head, "If I let good old Commissioner Gordon go, you stay and answer my questions."

The Bat was quiet for a couple seconds, too long, in the Joker's opinion.

To sweeten the pot, he threw in, "I won't even put up a fight when you arrest me, Bats. Oh, and do try to be quicker. You know how twitchy," Joker's hand flicked the knife towards Gordon's throat, "I get when I'm bored."

Batman growled, "Fine. Let him go and I'll answer."

Joker grinned and flung Gordon towards the knight. Bats and Gordon stood and talked for a few seconds before Gordon slipped around the him and out of the vault, presumably to call more backup.

"Soo, Bats." Joker drawled, walking closer to him, "Where ya been?"

"Ask a different question."

"But, Batsy!" The Joker whined.

Batman just stared at him stoically silent, as always.

"Ugh! Fine." The Joker tapped the knife on his lip, thinking, "Why no suit?"

Again, the his archenemy was silent. The Joker was fuming.

"Y'know, Bats, I'm a man of my word! I gave your precious Commissioner up without even a scratch because you said you'd answer!" Joker snarled, arms flying chaotically around him, "And you're not keeping up with your end of the bargain!"

"Ask questions I can answer." Batman murmured so quietly the Joker had to strain his ears to hear.

Joker stilled, head cocked to the side, "Have you really been gone this whole time?"

"No." Bats growled.

"Have you been in your suit at all this year?"

"No."

Aha. Now he was getting somewhere, the Joker thought.

"Have you been . . . working?"

"Yes."

Joker paused in his questioning, knife scraping his lip in thought again. Bats had been out, but not in costume. What did that mean? Aha!

"Are you . . . undercover?" He asked slyly.

The Bat didn't answer, just as the Joker predicted.

"When will you be back?" He asked, eyeing the man in front of him.

"Soon. And you'll pay for all the havoc you've caused in the past year, Joker. I've been keeping tabs. You'll be in Arkham for a long time."

Joker grinned at him, "Aw, Batsy! I knew you cared!"

Faster than the Bat could track, Joker was up close and personal, knife held lightly under the clown mask. He felt Batman stiffen. He had underestimated the Joker again! Bruce growled.

"Oh, hush, Batsy baby. I think we both know I won't kill you." Joker breathed.

His free hand reached up and grabbed the edge of the clown mask. Batman's hand gripped Joker's wrist and held tight.

"Leave the mask, or I'll break your wrist." Bats growled.

"I'm not going to take it off, silly Bat. Let go."

Batman hesitated.

"I'm not going to unmask or kill you, Batsy, so let go!" Joker hissed.

Batman reluctantly let his wrist go. Joker slowly moved the mask up, inch by inch. He could tell the other man was itching to make good on his threat to break his wrist, but Joker just grinned wider. Once the mask was at Batman's nose, Joker stopped.

"Now there's the Bat I know!" He cackled. Then he leaned in and kissed Batman.

It was like time froze. Joker wasn't aware of his surroundings anymore, all he could concentrate on was the feeling of the Bat's lips against his own. The man himself seemed frozen in shock. Joker could see his eyes were wide, as he closed his own. He moaned softly at the contact and it seemed to bring the Bat back to reality.

Batman jerked away and punched the Joker in the stomach in one smooth motion. Joker laughed maniacally, even as his breath rushed out of him. He grabbed Joker's wrists and pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket, locking them around the Joker, as he tried to catch his breath. Joker remained placid, as he had promised. Batman pushed the Joker in front of him as they walked toward the exit of the bank.

Just before Bruce pushed him into Gordon's waiting hands, he managed to say, "See you soon, Batsy." When he turned to catch a last glimpse of his Bat, his eyes met with air. He looked on the floor and saw the angry clown mask the man had worn.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This one is super short, I know. I had a hard time splitting it up into chapters because of how I wrote it.

The next morning, every news, radio, and paper blared the same headline:

**"Joker Escaped from Police Custody!"**

Joker looked around his hideout a few days later. Most of his goons hadn't returned yet, but that was fine by him. He needed the alone time. He lay back on his thin mattress and thought back to his meeting with the Bat. Joker hadn't gotten much from the man, but what he did get, lifted his hopes unimaginably. Bats was coming back! How soon, Joker didn't know. But Bats was definitely coming back . . . and for him!

Joker got up, it was time to start thinking about all the delicious chaos he could cause.


	5. Chapter 5

Bruce Wayne was sitting in his penthouse, flipping through news stations. He stopped on one that looked interesting.

"The biggest headline in all of Gotham today is about the Falcone crime family. The leader was found outside Commissioner Gordon's office this morning, tied up, with a note stuck on his chest." the blonde woman said.

Bruce could hear Alfred's footsteps, "Well, Master Wayne, looks like the Batman has had his hands full this past year." He put a hand on Bruce's shoulder, "It's nice to have you home, sir."

"Thanks, Alfred. It's good to be home."

"What's next, Master Wayne?" Alfred asked, putting a tray filled with food on Bruce's lap.

"Thanks, Alfred," Bruce started, picking up a piece of toast, "I think a day off and then I have to start taking down the Joker. I want to start before he causes more havoc looking for Batman."

"Any leads, sir?"

"Not yet, but I've just gotten back in the game. It won't take long, Joker's not patient." Bruce paused, "Honestly, though. I'm kind of surprised. The whole thing with Joker and Gordon was over a week ago. I expected him to try and draw Batman out the next day or so."

"Maybe he's planning something big, Master Wayne."

"I'm not sure. But he seemed satisfied when I said I was coming back soon. You should have seen the look on his face . . . it unnerved me. Like a starving man who was presented a plate of food. It . . ." Bruce trailed off, face tense.

"Well, sir, maybe he's missing the Batman's special brand of-er- attention? He IS insane."

"I just don't know, Alfred. Something inside keeps saying that it's more than that . . ."


	6. Chapter 6

Bruce awoke to Alfred knocking on his door. He groaned and rolled over to look at his alarm clock on his nightstand. 2:32a.m. Bruce cleared his throat before telling the butler to come in.

"Master Wayne, sorry to wake you, sir, but the signal is on."

"Right, thanks, Alfred. I'm getting up!" Bruce answered, throwing the blankets off him and heaving himself upright. Bruce ran over to the thumbprint scanner hidden in the south wall of his room. The hidden door opened and Bruce ran through it to the Batcave. He suited up in record time and was in the tumbler racing down the streets of Gotham.

He managed to find a secluded alley to park the tumbler a few blocks away from GCPD. He'd go from the rooftops from here on in. Bruce aimed his grapple up to the roof of the nearest building and hoisted himself up. He took off running, jumping the smaller gaps and grappling over the bigger ones. Finally he was able to hide behind a chimney on the roof next to the station so Batman was able to see the Batsignal.

Bruce's mouth dropped in shock. He had the _gall_ to . . . ! Bruce snapped his jaw shut and growled. How _dare _the Joker! He had managed to find his way atop the GCPD and had figured out how to switch the signal on . . . and for what?! Bruce, now fuming, came out from behind the chimney and leapt over to the station behind the Joker.

Batman assessed the situation with a practiced eye in seconds. The Joker was standing, facing away from Batman, arms behind his back, idly rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Joker." Bats growled.

Joker spun around, a grin stretching his scars, "Hello, dar-ling! Took you long enough to show up!"

"You're going back to Arkham." Batman growled.

The grin dropped off Joker's face, leaving the maniac looking deadly serious, "No, Batsy. I'm _not_." He grinned again, "Don't ya wanna know why I'm here, cupcake?"

Batman glowered at the man.

"Oh fine, spoilsport! You were supposed to guess but I'll tell you anyway!" He clapped his hands, eyes lighting up with childlike glee, his voice dropped to a whisper, "Well, dar-ling, I couldn't wait for one more second! I have a surprise for you! But you have to find it first. Maybe if you're nice, I'll even give you a hint!"

"And you think I'll play along why?" Bats growled. He had no idea why he hadn't arrested the jester yet, but he found himself leaning forward towards the man, anticipating his words. Bruce mentally shook himself and straightened himself out. He scowled.

"Because if you don't play along, my dark knight, a building will go BOOM!" Joker threw his hands up in the air and giggled.

"Which one?!" Batman snarled.

"Now, now, sweetheart. Maybe if you ask nicely-"

Batman cut him off with a punch to the stomach. Joker giggled breathlessly.

"Now that's the Bat I know!" He managed to spit out.

"Tell me!" Batman said, with a punch to the Joker's jaw. Joker's head snapped back. When he righted himself, Bruce noticed there was a dribble of blood from his split lip. Joker's tongue peeked out and licked the trail of blood.

Joker grinned and kicked the knight. Bats stumbled back, and the jester used that to his advantage. He leapt at Batman, throwing his limbs furiously. All Bruce could do was block as much as he could, Joker was leaving him no opportunities. Somehow, the Joker managed to sweep Batman's legs out from under him and he went down on his back hard, breath knocked out of him.

Joker perched himself on top of Bruce, holding his arms down.

"Now that the foreplay is over, cupcake, I expect a kiss!"

Bruce stared at him in confusion before his eyes widened in shock as the words connected in his frazzled mind. He tried to push the Joker off him and get up but stilled as painted lips connected with his. His blood boiled, from rage or something else, he didn't know. Bruce pushed the thought aside, disgusted with himself. He came back to reality when he felt the Joker's tongue prod his lips. Enough was enough!

Batman freed his arm and punched Joker across the cheek. He saw the skin split and felt sadistic satisfaction as the jester fell off him. Bruce got up and took the clown by the collar and lifted him up.

"Where are the bombs?!" He roared, patience completely gone.

Joker laughed, "Since you were SUCH a sport, darling, I'll tell you! It's on 4th and Rivercourt. I won't tell you which building, that's part of the game! You have-" Joker lifted his wrist to his face, "Oh dear! You only have fifteen minutes, Batsy! Better get running!"

Bruce doubled over as the Joker kneed him in the stomach, grip loosening enough for the Joker to jerk away.

"Ta, Bats! Catch ya later, doll!" He said over his shoulder, as he ran to the fire escape.

When Batman ran over to the escape to try and apprehend the Joker, he was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Bruce ran over to the side of the GCPD and pressed a button to call the tumbler. He leapt off, cape slowing his decent. He hit the ground with his knees bent as the tumbler's lights washed over him. He jumped in and put the streets into his GPS unit. As Bruce drove, he pushed a button on his communicator to call Gordon.

"This is Gordon."

"Gordon, Joker planted bombs on 4th and Rivercourt. Wouldn't say which building. I'm on my way there now."

"I'll get the bomb squad over there as fast as I can." Gordon replied, "Are you back, Batman?" He asked lowly.

"I never left. I had to keep everyone in the dark, including you, Jim. Taking down the Mob wouldn't have worked otherwise."

"Is that why a couple of my officers found a drug dealer unconscious in the Narrows the other night?" Gordon's voice was lace with amusement.

Batman chuckled darkly, "Might have been."

As Bruce reached the intersection of 4th and Rivercourt, he checked his watch. Ten minutes to find the bombs. He got out of the tumbler and grappled up to the nearest building. He looked around, searching for clues as to which building it was. Knowing the jester, he had probably left a clue to lead Batman in the right direction, especially depending on what type of game Joker wanted to play.

After taking in every detail he could, Bruce noticed a smeared red handprint on a door of a condemned building. He jumped and spread his cape, activating the fibers, and glided over to it. He checked his watch again, seven minutes left. If he was wrong . . . but Bruce wouldn't let himself think about it. He had to be right! There was no room for errors here!

Batman ran over to the door and wrenched it open. He flew down the stairs, red arrows painted on the walls pointing the way. He spared a quick thought as to whether it was blood, but the smell of paint was heavy in the enclosed space.

Bruce followed the arrows all the way down to the basement of the building. He paused at the boiler room door, "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, how I wonder where you're at" painted on it. He checked his watch again, four minutes. He cautiously opened the door a sliver, aware that it could be a trap. When nothing happened, he opened the door all the way and went in. He looked around, a couple of doors off the main room, both half open.

Bruce turned on his detective vision and scanned the room. Something flickered in the corner of his eye and caught his attention. He went over to the first door and opened it the rest of the way, looking for a trap. There was nothing else but the boiler. He ran over to the second door and he could see the corner of a table. He pushed the door open cautiously. There was an old table in the middle of the room with a box in the middle of it. The box was done up in green wrapping with a big purple bow on top.

There was no ticking, no sounds at all, coming from the box. Bruce went over to it, checking his watch again. Two minutes. He had to hurry. He took the lid off the box carefully, trying not to jostle whatever was inside. Something flew out at him, laughing hysterically, and Bruce jumped back, waiting for impact. When none came, he looked a little closer. It looked like an envelope on a spring. Batman went back into the box and looked in. No bomb, just the envelope and the laughter. He went and turned on the light and grabbed the envelope. He searched for the laughter and found a little tape recorder attached to the inside corner of the box.

'Bats,

So sorry I lied about the bomb!

Had to get the game started somehow, darling!

A game of hide and seek.

I'll even give you clues along the way.

Ta, darling!

J'

Bruce tapped the button on his communicator.

"Gordon."

"There's no bomb. It's his idea of a sick joke."

"You sure there's no bomb?"

"No. It would have gone off by now. He's playing with us. With me. Call off the squad."

"Fine. Will you let me know-" Gordon started, but Batman had already hung up.

Bruce grabbed the card and the tape recorder and went back to the tumbler. He had just started the drive back to the cave when white noise filled his ears. He tapped his communicator to see if he could get it working again. The static stopped as abruptly as it had started.

"Hel-lo, Batsy!" A nasally voice said in his ear.

Batman growled, "Joker. How did you-"

Joker cut him off, "Wasn't hard, darling. Took the Commissioner's phone the other day when you two were talking. Didn't even notice." He started giggling, "Commish was pretty an-gry when he realized he had to get a new one! It was really quite easy to hack into your system, doll."

"As soon as I get to the cave, I'm kicking you out!" He snapped.

"...you really live in a cave, Batsy?" Joker asked, surprisingly serious.

Bruce's eyes widened as he realized his mistake. He cursed silently as he figured out that Joker was waiting for an answer.

"No." He answered through gritted teeth.

The jester responded with an ear-splitting laugh. Bruce jerked his head at the sound, it went right through his head.

"Oh, dar-ling! Why didn't you say so?!" He said between chuckles, "Instead of staying in a cold, dark cave, why don't you come stay with your old pal, Joker? It'll be like a slumber party! We'd have SO much fun together!" He cackled.

Bats growled menacingly but was otherwise silent. Joker's laughter calmed down after a minute or two.

"What, Batsy? You don't think I'm serious?"

Bruce snorted, "You're never serious."

"You really don't know me at all, do you, Batman?" Joker asked, voice dropping a few octaves with anger.

"I know enough. I know you love trying to destroy Gotham. I know you love to make my life a living hell. I know you love chaos and killing. What else is there to know?" He spat.

"Oh, baby. If only you knew!" His voice perked up to it's normal nasal, lyrical tone, "But that's the whole point of the game, cupcake! I have a bigggggg secret that no one," He paused, "Not even the greatest bat detective knows!"

Bruce drove through the waterfall hiding the cave and parked the tumbler, "And just what is that?" He growled as he walked over to his storage case for his suit.

"I can't tell yet, silly bat!" Joker laughed again, "It would ruin the game! Besides," He added, voice serious again, "You're not ready for it." It sounded like he clapped his hands, "So that's why we need to play!"

While the Joker was busy talking, Bruce stripped off his suit, leaving him in a mesh shirt and long underwear. He changed his long underwear and mesh shirt into sweatpants and a loose t-shirt and sat down at his computer station. He pulled up his communication system to see if he could kick the Joker off.

"Ah-ah-ah! It won't be THAT easy to get rid of me, darling!" Joker commented, hearing Bruce typing.

"We'll see about that!" Bruce snarled, voice like gravel.

"I'll-uh-just wait here while you try, Batsy." The jester sounded horribly amused and that pissed Bruce off even more. Now he was even more determined to block the Joker out.

But after a few minutes of typing, it became obvious that the Joker had done something to counteract Bruce's commands to get rid of him. Bruce growled, becoming more frustrated. Joker giggled.

"Told ya, Bats!" Joker laughed manically.

"While I may not be able to kick you off, I don't have to listen to you!" Batman spit out, jaw clenched tightly.

"It's time for all little bats to be off anyway, darling. The sun is coming up! We don't want you turning into a pile of ashes-oh! Wrong fairytale!" He giggled again, "Expect to hear from me later. Game on, Bats! Dream of me, cupcake!" He laughed and the line went dead.

Bruce stayed up a little while longer to see if there was anyway to undo the damage Joker had done to his system. After a half hour of trying with no success, he figured he'd sleep on it. Maybe a fresher perspective would help. He trudged up the elevator to the main house and when he got to his bedroom, he flopped on the bed and passed out.


End file.
